Joseph # # ###
Information ## # February 21st
Network ## # 1 9 9 6
Xmit # # ###
The world's gone graphical: There are a number of people who still insist
command line interfaces are more efficient than menus, despite the numerous
studies that have proven otherwise. The most interesting one example took
place at VPI in 1990, when a number of people who considered themselves
expert Unix command line users and were made to perform a variety of
functions designed to mimic typical workflow (once using a command line,
once using a Graphical User Interface, or GUI). After each phase the users
were asked to rate their own performance.
Result: The users took on average 3 times longer to complete each task
using the command line and had 80% more errors, yet rated their own
performance much higher on the command line than on the GUI! Most felt
they had completed the tasks on average twice as fast using the command
line than on the mouse.
By much the same token, it has been scientifically proven that keyboard
shortcuts are *slower* then their menu equivalents. That's right, pressing
Command-Z instead of using your mouse to choose "Undo" from yonder Edit
menu takes longer, regardless of how it feels to us humans!
Or does it? Mike Blackwell abandoned the laboratory approach to show us
what really happens, in this *JINX EXCLUSIVE* entitled:
=======================The Bold Steps Of Mice And Men=======================
(How to apply "Bold" style to your text, Keyboard vs. Menu: A Study in Time)
With Command-key Equivalents:
1. Hold the Command key down with your left thumb.
2. Press B with your right or left forefinger.
3. Release both keys.
4. Resume typing.
With Menu Items:
1. Take your right hand off the keyboard.
2. Look around on your desk for where you put the mouse.
3. Put your right hand on the mouse, but make sure to leave your finger up,
or you might click the button prematurely.
4. Waggle the mouse a little, so you can locate the pointer on your screen and
orient yourself. If you have a passive-matrix PowerBook, a 21-inch monitor,
or multiple monitors, God help you.
5. Move the mouse until the pointer is over the Font menu (or whatever). If
you find that the mouse is moving slowly and erratically, look at the
bottom of the mouse, cringe at the gunk, open up the mouse, and pick off
the gunk with your fingernail. Then go back to Step 4.
6. Hold down the mouse button.
7. Move the mouse down the Font menu until you reach the Style submenu.
8. Move the mouse to the right until you reach Bold.
9. What? No Bold? Oh, you were moving the mouse too quickly, overshot, and
highlighted the Size submenu instead. Your text is now 72 points in height.
10. Choose an appropriate epithet and apply it to yourself, your mouse, your
computer, or your software (whichever seems more appropriate).
11. Move the mouse back to the left, then back up to the Style menu. Do it
slower this time so you don't miss.
12. Select Bold.
13. Release the mouse button.
14. Move your hand back to the keyboard and resume typing, while remaining
fully aware of the fact that as soon as you finish typing this word,
you're going to want to turn Bold _off_, so you'll have to go through
this process all over again.
15. Lament the demise of the manual typewriter.
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While you're lamenting, here's some deep thoughts to lend strength.
<> If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go limp, because maybe
you'll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because,
hey, free dummy.
<> Contrary to popular belief, the most dangerous animal is not the
lion or tiger or even the elephant. The most dangerous animal is a
shark riding on an elephant, just trampling and eating everything
they see.
<> Sometimes the beauty of the world is so overwhelming, I just want
to throw back my head and gargle. Just gargle and gargle, and I
don't care who hears me, because I am beautiful.
<> I guess of all my uncles, I liked Uncle Cave Man the best. We
called him Uncle Cave Man because sometimes he'd eat one of us.
Later on we found out he was a bear.
<> If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them
down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.
<> Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto
someone's neck, and the guy screams and tries to get it off, I
have to laugh, because what _is_ that thing?!
<> Sometimes I think the world has gone completely mad. And then I
think, "Aw, who cares?" And then I think, "Hey, what's for
supper?"
<> If you ever go temporarily insane, don't shoot somebody, like a
lot of people do. Instead, try to get some weeding done, because
you'd really be surprised.
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What do New Order, Seal, Bjork, Douglas Adams, Tori Amos, Laurie Anderson,
Sheryl Crow, Danny DeVito, Peter Gabriel, William Gibson, Tom Hanks, Jodie
Foster, Harrison Ford, John Laroquette, Spike Lee, George Lucas, Conan
O'Brien, Neil Young, Bob Zemeckis, Buzz Aldrin and the President of Iceland
have in common? <laugh> Oh, gee. They all love Macintoshes! <dodges nimbly>
Know any famous Macheads? Send em to <sain@eworld.com>, he's making a list.
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Reversing The Metephor: There it is again. Some clueless FOOL talking about
the "Information Superhighway." Now, we all know that's a BAD
metaphor. Yeah, but suppose the metaphor ran in the OTHER direction. Suppose
HIGHWAYS were like the NET. All right! Severe craziness. A highway HUNDREDS
of lanes wide. Most with potholes. Privately operated bridges and overpasses.
No highway patrol. A couple of rent-a-cops on bicycles with broken whistles.
500 member VIGILANTE POSSES with nuclear weapons. 237 ONRAMPS at every
intersection. NO SIGNS. Wanna get to Ensenada? Holler out the window at a
passing truck to ask directions. AD HOC traffic laws. Some lanes would VOTE to
make use by a single-occupant-vehicle a CAPITAL OFFENSE on Monday through Friday
between 7:00 and 9:00. Other lanes would just SHOOT you without a trial for
talking on a car phone. AOL would be a giant diesel-smoking BUS with hundreds
of victims throwing DEAD WOMBATS and rotten cabbage at the other cars, most of
which have been ASSEMBLED AT HOME from kits. Some are 2.5 horsepower LAWNMOWER
ENGINES with a top speed of nine miles an hour. Others burn NITROGLYCERINE and
IDLE at 120. No license tags. NO OFFRAMPS. Now THAT'S the way to run a
Highway system!!
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A few issues ago [Issue 8] we brought you the chilling story of the Windows
Virus. Since then, JINX has received new information that places our
previous article in a different light -- JINX would like to apologize for
any misunderstandings, and presents the following information as a public
service.
Q: Is Windows a virus?
A: No. Windows is not a virus. Here's what viruses do:
1. They replicate quickly -- well, Windows certainly does that.
2. Viruses use up valuable system resources, slowing down
the system as they do so -- OK, Windows does do that, Win 95 even more.
3. Viruses will, from time to time, trash your hard disk --
OK, Windows does that too.
4. Viruses will occasionally make the user suspect that
their system is too slow (see 2) and the user will buy
new hardware -- <sigh> Windows does that too.
Q. So... Maybe windows is a virus?
A. No, there *is* a difference. Viruses are well supported by their
authors, are frequently updated, and tend to become more sophisticated as
they mature.
So there! Windows is NOT a virus.
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