# # * **
Joseph # # ** * * th
Information # February 16th * * *
Network # # 1 9 9 6 * * * ANNIVERSARY SPECIAL!!
Xmit # # *** **
Celebrating a *decade* of Journalistic Excellence -- no, wait a minute, not
quite. But just as momentous; this is our big 10th issue!
Since JINX's brave conception in November, we've moved over 100k of
text into the realms of cyberspace. And know what? Not a single soul has
unsubscribed... I know, most of you will read this fact and leave in
disgust, but I can't help taking it as a vote of confidence. Thank you.
<wipes tears away and continues>
Today we bring you a special issue of JINX, focused not on the
world outside but the curious inner-world of this curious digest.
Everything you wanted to know but forgot to ask will be answered, and some
of the long-standing contributors to JINX will be profiled entirely without
their consultation. But first, I have some explaining to do...
What's an XMIT?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To most of you, XMIT represents nothing more then a shortened form of
"Transmit", and a fine reason not to call the digest JINT. But the term
stems from a much deeper source -- to be exact, from a Sci-Fi Novella by
Keith Laumer, by chance my choice of reading on the fateful day of JINX 1.
The story revolves around two astronauts in the first attempted hyperspace
"jump". Things have gone wrong, and they're a very long way from home.
The computer tech has been seriously wounded by the jump, and is striving
to repair the jump computer before time runs out. And I quote...
Blackness, unrelieved, immense.
"Take a look to Starboard" Vanderguerre whispered, hunching
painfully over the MTE's jump control. Teal's hands shook as he swung his
eyepiece into position. He shifted the scope, picked up a glimmering
smear of light. Squinting against the glare, Teal adjusted the scope's
filter. The bright halo obscuring the larger object dimmed. Now he could
make out detail, a pattern of swirling, clotted light, curving out in two
spiral arms from a central nucleus.
The realization of what he was seeing swept over Teal with a
mind-numbing shock.
Andromeda -- and the Greater and Lesser Magellanic Clouds. And the
other, smaller one! The Milky Way, the home Galaxy.
"Let's get out of here, Vanderguerre!" Teal's voice was ragged.
"My God, I never thought--"
"Nobody did," Vanderguerre spoke steadily. "That's why we've got
to tape it all, Les--"
"We've got enough! Let's go back! Now!"
Vanderguerre looked at Teal. The younger man was pale, wide eyed.
He was badly shaken. But you couldn't blame him. A million lights in one
jump. So much for the light barrier, gone the way of the sound barrier.
"Now," Teal repeated. "Before..."
"Yeah," Vanderguerre managed. "Before you're marooned with a
corpse." He closed the console, fed the MTE data, and regained his seat.
"We're flying half-blind, but this information can guide us." Seeing
Teal's doubtful expression, he added, "We either fly now, or we don't fly
at all." A steel spike a pain drove into his chest, he swayed.
"Jump," Teal said, and slammed the levers home. Mighty forces
gripped the universe, twisted it inside out. Roaring silence, and then...
Teal shook his head, blinked the fog from before his eyes. He
scanned the panel one last time before raising his hand to the *XMIT*
button. "MTE to Mission Control," he said. "Jump Completed."
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
It is that moment, that surge of adrenalin, that sense of vast new horizons
mixed with the familiarity of coming home... that's what JINX is all about!
"...this information can guide us," said the tech.
And JINX is here as *your* guide -- wherever you may jump to.
GOLD CONTRIBUTOR'S AWARD
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
From the very beginning, there've been megacontributors -- folks who never
stop sending me stuff. JINX owes it's livelihood to quite a lot of people,
but without the tireless efforts of two certain beings, this would be a
completely different digest (namely, half its size!). So it's only fitting
that our 10th issue pays tribute. Without further ado, the winners are:
**Guy Kawasaki** <kawasaki@eworld.com> is one of the highest-payed
employees of Apple Computer, with the world's most ridiculous job: All
he does is find cool Apple tidbits and send them to his mail list, which
started in September and is now nearing 20 000 subscribers. 90% of JINX's
pro-apple articles come via that list, and we'd be a sadly unbiased digest
without them. I've considered subscribing him to JINX, but apparently he
gets about 2 000 messages a day (at least he's working hard for that 4
million salary)! However, YOU can join HIS list by sending email to
<macway-request@solutions.apple.com> for an automatic reply (Any ol'
message will do).
**Brian P. Hampson** <brian@asl3.asl-labs.bc.ca> is possibly not payed
quite as much, but I'm sure he gets along fine. A systems administrator
for Analytical Service Labs (Vancouver), he has an uncanny knack for
discovering the most delightful tales, tidbits, and assorted weird stuff.
It was he who found The Gingrich Who Stole Christmas, Dr Suess: The Next
Generation, the scientific examination of Santa Claus, ad infinitum...
rarely an issue goes by without a "Brian Bit". How did he come to
contribute so much? Because I tracked him down and asked him! Er, well,
begged him. Anyway, good work, and two names engraved into the coveted
Gold Contributors Award!
::
::::
:JINX:
::::::::
##########
## Gold ##
## Contributors ##
# ~~~~~~~~~~~~ #
*# Guy Kawasaki #*
* # Brian P. Hampson # *
* # # *
*# #*
# #
## ##
## ##
##########
### ## ###
# ## #
[The Gold Contributors Award. The poetic have likened it to a golden
rocket poised for the stars, although others point to strong tea pot
resemblances]
Kudos Galore
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'd like to take this time to thank *everyone* who ever contributed -- if
your text appeared in JINX that automatically means I adore you. Thanks
also to my nifty girlfriend Tasha, for sparking the original inspiration,
and my two younger brothers for their continuing support:
Me: "Who runs the best mail list?"
Kyle (5): "JOE! YAAAAAAAY!"
If only they knew what a mail list was...
The Jinxserver address, site, and archives are maintained by "The Computing
Centre" through the gracious permission of the admin (me). The Computing
Centre offers netizens of Powell River reliable, graphical internet access
for less then a hundred dollars a year. Quick, run out and get the latest
"Computing Paper", it's free in most Canadian cities. Got it? Good, that
was fast. Turn to page 94... see that blue advertisement for Wimsey? Look
closely, the 7th name down reads "Computing Centre". That's us! As the
inscription reads,
"GO WHERE THE SMART MONEY'S GOING"
I couldn't have put it better myself. <grin>
THINGS *YOU* CAN DO TO HELP JINX THE WORLD
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Do you enjoy being jinxed? I would suppose so, since nary a soul has
unsubscribed. But this is passive enjoyment, having no affect on the rest
of the world or the digest.. for all I know, you could be printing, shred-
ding, and using JINX as classy packing material (STOP IT!). Now, for every
reaction there is an equal and opposite reaction; hence if you get anything
out of JINX you really aught to give something back. Bearing this in mind,
here's a countdown of *active* suggestions for furthering the JINX cause...
7) Communicate with the curator: That's me! The very least you can do
upon reading JINX is write a 12-page essay on how much you enjoyed it. Or
just drop me a tiny note with creative feedback. My personal address is
<joseph@thecentre.com>
6) Contribute oodles! If you stumble across something that's witty, weird,
wild, wacky, wired, or west, we'd like to hear about it. Since JINX is
based entirely on user contributions, the more you contribute the faster a
digest appears in your mailbox! Fa fa fa!
5) Spread the word(s). Forward issues (and JINX propaganda) to your
friends, your relations, your boss, your administrator. For those who
"have yet to get the net", use JINX as the main reason they should.
4) Recruit others! Help people subscribe. This is accomplishable by
following step 5, by including innocent subscription instructions in
letters, by mentioning JINX in casual conversation, or by using this as
your signature:
__ ____________
/\ \ /_________ /\
:::::/ \ \:::::::::::::::: <your name here> :::::::::::\ _____ / / /::
::::/ /\ \ \:::::::::: <your email address here> ::::::::\ \ \ / / /:::
:::/ / /\ \ \:::::::: Subscribe to a paradox: Send ::::::::\ \ \/ / /::::
::/ / /__\_\ \::::: "jinx me!" to <jinx@thecentre.com> :::::\ \ \/ /:::::
/ / /________\ \ \ /
\/___________/ \_\/
Tattooing our address on your person is not recommended or required,
although you could put it on a bumpersticker.
3) Send Money! Not necessarily to JINX, mind you, that's too pathetic.
Instead, give something precious to your favorite charity (in person). As
you set the items down, announce in a loud voice, "I DID IT FOR JINX!".
Then run away before anyone asks prying questions.
2) Send other stuff! Anything that can't be sent via the internet is
welcome at this snail address:
Joseph McLean
Post Office Box 89
Lund BC
Canada V0N 2G0
Non-nettable stuff includes postcards, newspaper clippings, chocolate bars,
and the PowerBook 5300ce. Note that if you do send the PowerBook 5300ce,
you should insure it because it's worth over ten thousand dollars.
And the number one way you can help the cause...
1) Stay with us. Keep reading. This digest is for you.
Happy Anniversary,
Joseph McLean
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