Joseph # # ###
Information # # # January 7th
Network # # # 1 9 9 6
Xmit # ###
JINX GETS GROOVY GRAPHICS: With the dawning of a new year, JINX has
declared resolution # 1 to spruce up the ol' newsletter, splashing ascii
graphic styling here and there for added impact. Y'all better be using a
monospaced, non-proportional font, else you'll see a very peculiar stream
of gibberish... JINX Recommended fonts are Monaco 9 or Mishawaka 9 (of course!).
Speaking of resolutions, results are in, and the three most popular American New
Year's resolutions of '96 are....
#1 Stop Smoking
#2 Lose Weight
#3 Exercise More
Well now, how shocking! Interestingly, 88% of those polled said they had
"made the same resolution for as long as they could remember"
The same survey was attempted in Canada but fell short because no one
really cared. <grin>
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
The following message was snatched off the InfoMac, a forum generally used
for collective software troubleshooting (a geek hangout if ever there was
one). I snatched because it's a very rare occurrence, almost completely out
of place, and well worth catching a few thoughts on.
Date: Fri, 5 Jan 1996 08:05:39 -0600 (CST)
From: Scott Taschler <taschler@sctc.com>
Subject: Philosophical musings...
Hello fellow info-mac'ers!
I had the most profound experience the other day, and I want to share with
the rest of the world. This night not be the ideal forum for this, so
I'll keep it relatively short.
So there I was, downloading some intensely huge file from the archives to
my duo 230, when I happened to glance out the window and noticed the
phone wire coming in to my apartment building from the street. I stood
and walked to the window, where I could trace the wire all the way down
the block and into the distance. As I stared at that wire, I imagined all
those bits of information racing along it and pouring out into my
computer. From my 3rd floor vantage point, I can see quite a ways. I
tried to imagine what was going on at the other end of that wire...where
did it lead? Well, it turns out that I was downloading from Switzerland
at the time, and I could almost see all those bustling bits cruising
across the Atlantic. All spouting from some other computer, more or less
the same as mine. Maintained by another person, more or less the same as
me. Was that person standing at the other end of the wire, staring out
the third floor window, wondering where all his bits were rushing off to
in such a hurry?
My point is that up 'til that moment, I took all this Internet stuff for
granted. Connect up to some machine, grab whatever looks interesting like
a pirate plundering a village, and move on to the next promising site.
But you know what? There are physical things and *people* out there
folks--none of this great stuff would be possible without the people.
This Internet doesn't exist for anyone's personal advantage--it's just a
way for all of us to connect in a way we couldn't before.
Well, that's about all I had to share. Take from my ramblings what you
will. If nothing else, try sitting still for a moment, closing your
eyes, and just try to imagine where all those bits, like so many notes
stuffed in bottles, are going...
Philosophically yours,
Scott
---------------------------------------------------------------------
The question before us, my friends: Can there really be other *people* out
there?! As the plot thickens, I may as well release my reply...
Date: Sat, 6 Jan 1996 00:22:32 -0800
To: taschler@sctc.com
From: joseph@coc.powell-river.bc.ca (Joseph McLean)
Subject: Re: Philosophical musings...
It's midnight, and the land outside my window is shrouded in darkness. Not
a single streetlight can be found, for me & my solar-powered PB 165c are
far, far removed from anything resembling civilization. If I *could* see,
my eyes would likely be caught by a scraggly, rusted rope branching off
from the house to catch in the branches of a 50 ft. fir tree, skipping
rapidly away through the forest and out of sight. Amazing that such a cord
is so important -- for one end plugs into the back of my 28.8 Modem and the
other end... plugs into the world. These bytes will travel far, first 3
miles to the nearest phone poll in Lund, then another 30 to my Internet
Provider in Powell River, leaping the water to Nanaimo, another 150 miles
to Vancouver, and hence into cyberspace... irrecoverably bound for your
third floor.
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
But enough about me... this from a friend of an Apple Central employee.
It's the most beautiful story I've heard in a long time, no one-dimensional
Microsoft bashing here!
----------------------
Macintosh and The Monk
----------------------
Before entering law school over three years ago, I travelled in Thailand
for three months. The last two weeks of my stay were spent in a Buddhist
Forest Monastery near the Laotian border in Isan, the Northeast portion
of Thailand.
To give you some idea of our remoteness, it was a 13 hour train ride to
Ubon Ratchatani, the largest city in that region (but city is pushing
it). From their a took a three hour bus ride to Piboon (or Phibun) which
you might actually find on an atlas map. From there, it was three hours
on the back of a pickup truck, and a twenty minute boat ride across a lake
to Wat Kuen (Temple of the Dam) or Wat Ko (Wat Island). Consider this the
boonies. I almost stepped on several cobras.... Very, very remote. I picked
the place because the abbot was Australian (but a monk in Thailand for
the last 28 years, so very fluent).
Now to the Apple part. Hanging out with my head shaved and eyebrows
shaved was weird enough, the guys in orange robes added more to this.
But, by far the weirdest part was the computer setup the abbot had. He
was using his bilingual ability to translate Buddhist texts to English,
on a Macintosh Classic, with a laser printer -- all of it solar powered
(no electricity there). There, in the jungle, hours from civilization,
with monkeys swinging from the trees and cobras sliding along the
ground, a bald guy in an orange robe and his Macintosh. He even
subscribed to MacUser. When I left and asked what I could send to help
(expecting money to be the response) he suggested I send the latest
version of anti-viral software available.
`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~
[Alright, back to the one-dimensional!!]
From: Gil Glass, gil.glass@Controls.Eurotherm.COM
I am the author of this masterpiece. I give you full and unconditional
permission to publish it on your web pages.
NOTE: I experienced each an everyone of these headaches, although not
necessarily in the indicated quantities, during my first week using
Windows 95.
12 Days of Microsoft Christmas
by Gil Glass
(trust me, it's singable)
On the 1st day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
Windows 95 for PC
[Ad nauseum, until...]
On the 12th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
12 sound cards silent
11 instructions faulty
10 modes not supported
9 apps a crashin'
8 Megs overflowin'
7 files missin'
6 ints conflictin'
5 eighty six...!
4 sectors bad,
3 ports not responding,
2 GPFs,
And Windows 95 for PC...
# ## # ## # ## # ## # ## # ## # ## # ## # ## # ## # ## # ## # ## # ## #
But Win95 ain't all that bad. Why, there's situations where it'll really
excel, as this Service-Call-of-the-Day proves...
"Customer called and indicated she is the [technology coordinator] for her
[K12 school] district. They have roughly 500 Macintoshes and 500 DOS
boxes. About half of the Macs are DOS compatible. Customer called to
tell us that the ONLY computers she has been able to successfully install
Windows 95 on are the DOS compatible Macintoshes. She has spent over *40*
hours on the phone with Microsoft trying to get Win95 installed on [various]
DOS boxes with no luck!" |
